Thursday, December 9, 2010

Random Musings - Urban Sprawl

By "being judged on how you a father" was outgoing Florida Gators head football coach Urban Meyer referring to spending more time watching his daughters play sports, or regaining the opportunity to coach his son?


I'm a big fan of ESPN's Mike Tirico and his Open Mike Podcast.  His latest one is a chat with NCAA president Mark Emmert in which they discuss the BCS and the possibility of the NCAA someday paying student-athletes (which I hope never happens, but that's another discussion for another time...).  It's a pretty good listen.


Um, courtesy of Gawker, Granny Gets Her Freak On at USC Tailgate [moderately SFW]


Finally, I know I've been all over the Dougie lately, but this is clearly the new dance craze.

And if you stop watching before the 2:32 mark, you're really missing the party.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Todd Haley Won't Need Any More Purell

Remember in Week 10 when the Kansas City Chiefs were taken behind the woodshed and beaten within an inch of their collective football lives by the Denver Broncos?  And then, in a much ado about nothing moment, the talking heads were up in arms about Kansas City coach Todd Haley's postgame handshake snub of Josh McDaniels, his Denver counterpart.

Haley later apologized, but refused to elaborate as to why he refused to shake McDaniels' hand.  In fact, they even kissed and made up when they payed this past week.

Now that Denver has confirmed that McDaniels has been relieved of his duties, what are the odds that Haley sends him a note of condolence?

Oh, and here's the only Dougie I've seen worse than Drew Stanton's.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Teach Him How To Dougie

Detroit Lions' third string QB Drew Stanton (how in the world does he have an "official website"???) after a 3 yard touchdown scamper:

Washington Wizards rookie PG John Wall during pregame introductions before his first regular season home game as a professional:

Wall was a one-and-done player at Kentucky.  Do you think we could get him to educate Stanton in the sacred art of the Dougie for college credit and get Wall one step closer to his degree?

And this was unquestionably the greatest celebration in Detroit Lions history.  Well, in 2010, at least.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Beard of the Week - Ryan Fitzpatrick, Buffalo Bills

At some point, things have to start going Buffalo's way, right?  While the fact that there are other tortured fanbases out there is dully noted, the Bills have to be in the conversation.
OK, try this: close your eyes and think about the history of the Bills.  I'm more than willing to wager that one of the first things that comes to mind is on the following list (the rich AFL tradition of the franchise notwithstanding):
  1. Scott Norwood.
  2. Always the bridesmaid, but never the bride.
  3. O.J. Simpson.
All of those past demons lurking about have to make the current season that much more of a jagged little pill for Bills fans to swallow.  At 2-9 at the time of this writing, the Bills have easily been the pluckiest team sporting a .181 winning percentage in the history of organized football.  Consider that after their Week 6 bye...
This is not a team that has made a stop at the post office and mailed it in.  Their record doesn't indicate it at all; but Bills are actually a watchable team, if only because you know they'll take a punch and and keep on coming. Against the Steelers, in a game that nobody gave them a chance to win (except, perhaps, the mothers of some of the Bills players - but I'd bet even they had their doubts...), Ryan Fitzpatrick did everything asked of him in order to win that game.  He marched his team down the field for a game tying field goal with :02 remaining in regulation.  In overtime, he threw a perfect pass to Steve Johnson, who as of late looked like he was becoming the first relevant wide receiver in Buffalo since Andre Reed.

But apparently Johnson had enjoyed a hot butter sandwich just before the overtime began.

Then he issued the tweet heard 'round the world.

Then he backtracked a bit (good piece by ESPN's AFC East blogger Tim Graham).

But despite the fact that the Bills went on to lose the game,  Fitzpatrick and his lumberjackian beard look like they are laying the groundwork for becoming a respectable team again in the near future.

Either that, or the 2010 Bills are just going to become another notch on the Bedpost of Failure in Buffalo.

In honor of Derek Anderson's meltdown, enjoy:

    Monday, November 22, 2010

    Random Musings

    Admittedly, I'm a rabid Knicks fan.  As such, I am sickened and appalled that L.A. Clippers forward Blake Griffin is currently allowed to roam the streets as a free man.  What he did to the Knicks over the weekend was criminal.

    I refuse to believe that LSU head football coach Les Miles has not made some sort of unholy deal and sacrificed the NFL career of former Tiger JaMarcus "Purple Drank" Russell in exchange for some absurd wins this year.  How else could a man who eats grass at visiting stadiums and doesn't know how to clap [Miles interview where he explains these absurdities here] pull off this, this or this?

    At what point are we forced to say that The Sanchize is more than just a game manager, but rather a real, bona fide, substance-approaching-style quarterback?

    Oh, and Colt McCoy seems to be on the fast track for that.

    Unfortunately, he's stuck in Sports Purgatory.

    Terrence Jones and Jared Sullinger look like the real deal early on.  I'm not completely sold yet on Harrison Barnes - and that might be unfair to say only because the preseason hype for him was built up to Harold Miner levels.

    Happy Monday, y'all.

    Monday, November 15, 2010

    If You Diss a Rapper in the Woods, Does it Make a Sound?

    I'm probably dating myself a bit here, but when I was a kid, there was a short lived cartoon show called "Hammerman" starring M.C. Hammer and he - oh heck, I'll stop here and let Wikipedia explain the concept of the show:

    Youth center worker Stanley Burrell (Hammer's real name) owns a pair of magical dancing shoes (which are alive and can speak), which when worn cause Burrell to transform into the superhero Hammerman. He frequently gets advice from his "Gramps", who was a former owner of the shoes and was known as Soulman. While in the guise of Hammerman, Burrell was dressed in MC Hammer's signature purple parachute pants and myriad golden chains.

    The show was hosted by the real MC Hammer, who also sang the show's theme song, telling about the origin of Hammerman. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, Gramps (real name unrevealed) was the superhero Soulman, but as he grew older, he grew weaker and was forced to retire. Gramps and his granddaughter Jodie traveled to find the next new superhero. Their search was over when they met Stanley and he put on the shoes.

    As absurd as that concept might sound, you can't discount the fact that at one point in time the man was so big that somebody from DIC Entertainment (the same company that brought us great old school cartoons like Inspector Gadget and The Super Mario Bros. Super Show) pitched this show to somebody AND GOT IT GREENLIGHTED.  Sure it only lasted 13 episodes, but that's 13 more episodes than, say, a cartoon based on Lil' Wayne.

    Coincidentally, 1991 was not only the year that Hammer made his animated debut (and saw his animated demise...) but also the year that he put out is last musical work of note (no Pun intended).  Unless you count Pumps and a Bump.  

    I don't.  

    And quite frankly, I'd be shocked if Hammer did.

    His fall from grace is well documented, having essentially donated the entirety of his fortune to the good people of Oakland, CA.  I mean, in 2009 he appeared in a Cash4Gold commercial during the Super Bowl which wouldn't have been funny had he not found himself as broke as a hobo stealing pies from windowsills.  It seems as if everyone has taken their shots at M.C. Pinata, including, but not limited to, The Simpsons.

    But somehow, Jay-Z took it one step too far.

    On Kanye West's track "So Appalled" Jigga took some seemingly mild swipes at the newly monikered "King Hammer" saying, "Hammer went broke so you know I'm more focused /I lost 30 mil' so I spent another 30/ 'Cause unlike Hammer 30 million can't hurt me"  Either King Hammer has his finger on the pulse of hip hop, or someone alerted him to the verbal jab (my money is on the latter), because revenge was vowed.

    And that vengance is a dish best served after the 1:21 mark:

    All of this forces me to ask: When does King Hammer take the Vanilla Ice route and realize that he's little more than a punchline and accept that?

    It's also worth noting that Hammer took shots at Busta Rhymes and Eminem back in 2006 in a video that was somehow more laughable than Better Run Run.

    Monday, November 1, 2010

    Random musings

    Brad Childress has lost not only his lockerroom but his mind.  You give up a third round pick for a Hall of Fame caliber receiver who can still get up and down the field, and then you waive him?

    C'mon, son.

    Does anybody else get the feeling that at the beginning of the year Peyton Manning just said "Screw it, I'm gonna let Jim Caldwell see how he can do actually coaching this team."  And somehow the milquetoast head coach wasn't quite up to the challenge, so Manning was forced to take the reins back?

    And I'd be remiss if I didn't show some love to San Francisco Giant's closer Brian Wilson's Beard (yeah, it's so awesome, it's a proper noun).

    Sunday, October 17, 2010

    The Werder Bowl

    According to ESPN, the apocalypse is about to occur in Minneapolis this afternoon at roughly 4:15 PM Eastern time.  The 1-3 Minnesota Vikings are set to host the 1-3 Dallas Cowboys.

    Nobody needs me to point out that the both of these teams rode the hype bus into the season as Super Bowl contenders.  At 1-4, the loser of this contest is going to try to match a feat that has been accomplished by only five other NFL teams in the past 20 years: make the playoffs.

    Who better to be at the epicenter of this maelstrom than Ed Werder.  It seems as if every story that he files for ESPN is either from the Cowboys' practice facility in Valley Ranch, TX; or from Brett Favre's lawn in Hattiesburg, MS.

    Total disclosure: I grew up a Packers fan.  Brett Lorenzo Favre was, and still is, one of a handful of NFL players that can get me to drop what I'm doing so I can watch him play.  Admittedly, I view the world through Favre-colored glasses, but I do like to think that I am something of a realist when it comes to the Southern Mississippi University alum.

    During the 2008 NFC Championship Game, as soon as the Packers won the toss, I distinctly remember turning to all of the non-Packer fans in the room and saying "This game ends one of two ways: Brett throws an interception or works some magic and wins it right here.  There is no other ending for this game."

    Sure enough, he did the former.

    But he's human (mostly).  You don't play as many games in a row as he has without being made of steel.  Or some element that I've never heard of.

    So between the swirling off-field controversy engulfing Favre and the Vikings, the return of Randy Moss's hobo beard to Minnesota and Cowboys owner Jerry Jones continuing to stuff the ballot box full of votes of confidence for his beleaguered head coach; sports fans have been beaten senseless with the story-lines for this game.

    If you're a football fan without a rooting interest in any of the other teams playing in the late time slot, clearly this is a must-see game.  Especially since the other two games look like they should be duds.

    I just hope that this game isn't so big that Werder spontaneously combusts on the sidelines.