If You Diss a Rapper in the Woods, Does it Make a Sound?

I'm probably dating myself a bit here, but when I was a kid, there was a short lived cartoon show called "Hammerman" starring M.C. Hammer and he - oh heck, I'll stop here and let Wikipedia explain the concept of the show:

Youth center worker Stanley Burrell (Hammer's real name) owns a pair of magical dancing shoes (which are alive and can speak), which when worn cause Burrell to transform into the superhero Hammerman. He frequently gets advice from his "Gramps", who was a former owner of the shoes and was known as Soulman. While in the guise of Hammerman, Burrell was dressed in MC Hammer's signature purple parachute pants and myriad golden chains.

The show was hosted by the real MC Hammer, who also sang the show's theme song, telling about the origin of Hammerman. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, Gramps (real name unrevealed) was the superhero Soulman, but as he grew older, he grew weaker and was forced to retire. Gramps and his granddaughter Jodie traveled to find the next new superhero. Their search was over when they met Stanley and he put on the shoes.

As absurd as that concept might sound, you can't discount the fact that at one point in time the man was so big that somebody from DIC Entertainment (the same company that brought us great old school cartoons like Inspector Gadget and The Super Mario Bros. Super Show) pitched this show to somebody AND GOT IT GREENLIGHTED.  Sure it only lasted 13 episodes, but that's 13 more episodes than, say, a cartoon based on Lil' Wayne.

Coincidentally, 1991 was not only the year that Hammer made his animated debut (and saw his animated demise...) but also the year that he put out is last musical work of note (no Pun intended).  Unless you count Pumps and a Bump.  

I don't.  

And quite frankly, I'd be shocked if Hammer did.

His fall from grace is well documented, having essentially donated the entirety of his fortune to the good people of Oakland, CA.  I mean, in 2009 he appeared in a Cash4Gold commercial during the Super Bowl which wouldn't have been funny had he not found himself as broke as a hobo stealing pies from windowsills.  It seems as if everyone has taken their shots at M.C. Pinata, including, but not limited to, The Simpsons.

But somehow, Jay-Z took it one step too far.

On Kanye West's track "So Appalled" Jigga took some seemingly mild swipes at the newly monikered "King Hammer" saying, "Hammer went broke so you know I'm more focused /I lost 30 mil' so I spent another 30/ 'Cause unlike Hammer 30 million can't hurt me"  Either King Hammer has his finger on the pulse of hip hop, or someone alerted him to the verbal jab (my money is on the latter), because revenge was vowed.

And that vengance is a dish best served after the 1:21 mark:


All of this forces me to ask: When does King Hammer take the Vanilla Ice route and realize that he's little more than a punchline and accept that?

It's also worth noting that Hammer took shots at Busta Rhymes and Eminem back in 2006 in a video that was somehow more laughable than Better Run Run.

Rolling Stone [Jay-Z Responds to MC Hammer Slam]